http://WhisperedByHorses.com

Call in Show Tuesday, August 4, 8PM Eastern, 7 PM Centra, 6 PM Mountain, 5 PM Pacific. Click on link above for details.

What would you think if I sang out of tune,
Would you stand up and walk out on me.
Lend me your ears and I’ll sing you a song,
And I’ll try not to sing out of key.
I get by with a little help from my friends

     Lennon/McCartney

Last November, I was bucked off my horse, Elvis. I landed on my hand and the force of the blow smashed my radius bone above the wrist. As far as things that could break when coming off a horse, a wrist is a small thing. I didn’t break my head, neck or back, and all my injuries are healed.

I had two surgeries in four months, and it was a total of six months in which I was forbidden to ride by my surgeon. But, once I could ride, I didn’t. I had lots of things to fix around the ranchito: tractoring to do, fences to fix, weeds to hack. I have a business to run, and I have gone back to my computer nerd job part time. I just don’t have time to ride.

But, that wasn’t the whole truth. I had time to do ground work with the horses and do some training that way. I just didn’t want to ride. It’s too hot. The mosquitoes and flies would bug the horses. I had excuse after excuse.

I really had to admit something I didn’t want to: 

I was afraid to ride my horse.

I’ve always thought of myself as a fairly fearless rider. I was careful about when and where I rode, and I am not reckless. But I was seldom afraid. Not so now. That injury took a lot out of me.

If even the Beatles would worry about singing out of tune, I guess it’s not unusual for a horseman to be afraid sometimes. My question was, should I share this fear with my friends? I pass myself off as a horseman who teaches life lessons through horsemanship. What would it look like to admit fear of riding? 

Working through my own fear is a life lesson I have to learn myself. Why not share that process in real time? While I am working through my issues and learning lessons, I’ll open up and let the world see me. My son, Dean, who is a TV anchorman, visited us a couple of weeks ago. We had discussed us doing some filming for my web site. I asked him to video me getting on a horse for the first time. We are now editing that video and it will be out soon.

My plan was to get on Hoss, my regular, dependable mount. I figured that would be easy. Then, I would work up to getting on Elvis, which would be scary, since he’s the one that bucked me off. It turns out, it was plenty scary getting on Hoss.

Because I was afraid, and wrapped up in my own fear, I could not see what was going on with Hoss. He was agitated, but I thought I it was because I was wound up. What my fear would not let me see was that Hoss’s bridle was mal-adjusted and it was bugging him. When I finally fixed the bridle, Hoss calmed down and I calmed down.

And I got on. And it was great.

The video showed me all the mistakes I made. How’s that for a lesson learned in real time: When you are afraid, you can’t see what is really happening around you. Fear clouds your judgment. Information that you need can be blocked by your own brain.

This is just one lesson I learned that I want to share with you.

The video won’t be out for a couple of weeks, but you can listen to my 15 minute on-line radio show any time at http://WhisperedByHorses.com.

Tonight, Tuesday, August 4 and 8:00 PM Eastern Time, I will have a live call-in show about my fears and how I am working through them. Please call in and talk to me. Details are at the Whispered By Horses link above.

I was talking to Daniel about how smart horses are. They aren’t smart in the same way we are. They are smart in the ways they need to survive. Since horses are prey animals, they must always be aware of their environment. Their survival depends on being able to discern what is dangerous and what is not. If they perceive something to be dangerous, they are hard coded to run. On the other hand, they can’t run at every leaf that rustles in the bushes. As a result, horses are black belts at reading body language.

Daniel then asked an astute question: “Why do horses allow us to ride them into battle?”

My tweet was: “Leadership. Develop a strong relationship with your horse, and he will follow you anywhere. Same w/ people.”

Here’s the part that doesn’t fit in a tweet:

Horses crave leadership. In a wild herd, the lead stallion or mare, or the two working as a team, are always on the look out for danger. This allows the rest of the herd to relax and graze. When you meet a horse for the first time, his biggest question to you is, “Can you keep me safe?” If you can show the horse that you can be an effective leader and keep him safe, he will be happy to let you lead him.

As your relationship grows, and the horse trusts you more and more, the two of you will be able to work together and do things you could not do separately. This includes going into battle.

The same thing works with people. Most people are better followers than leaders. They are happy to let someone tell them what to do and where to go. When a leader can convince his followers that he has a vision and can protect them, they will follow him anywhere.

Horses are great teachers of leadership. If you are not an effective leader, your horse will not follow you. Unlike with people, a horse’s feedback on your leadership skills are unadulterated, immediate, and honest. There is no pretense. You are either a good leader or you are not. The horse will follow you only if you can lead.