Whispered By Horses – Fear of Riding
Call in Show Tuesday, August 4, 8PM Eastern, 7 PM Centra, 6 PM Mountain, 5 PM Pacific. Click on link above for details.
What would you think if I sang out of tune,
Would you stand up and walk out on me.
Lend me your ears and I’ll sing you a song,
And I’ll try not to sing out of key.
I get by with a little help from my friends
Last November, I was bucked off my horse, Elvis. I landed on my hand and the force of the blow smashed my radius bone above the wrist. As far as things that could break when coming off a horse, a wrist is a small thing. I didn’t break my head, neck or back, and all my injuries are healed.
I had two surgeries in four months, and it was a total of six months in which I was forbidden to ride by my surgeon. But, once I could ride, I didn’t. I had lots of things to fix around the ranchito: tractoring to do, fences to fix, weeds to hack. I have a business to run, and I have gone back to my computer nerd job part time. I just don’t have time to ride.
But, that wasn’t the whole truth. I had time to do ground work with the horses and do some training that way. I just didn’t want to ride. It’s too hot. The mosquitoes and flies would bug the horses. I had excuse after excuse.
I really had to admit something I didn’t want to:
I was afraid to ride my horse.
I’ve always thought of myself as a fairly fearless rider. I was careful about when and where I rode, and I am not reckless. But I was seldom afraid. Not so now. That injury took a lot out of me.
If even the Beatles would worry about singing out of tune, I guess it’s not unusual for a horseman to be afraid sometimes. My question was, should I share this fear with my friends? I pass myself off as a horseman who teaches life lessons through horsemanship. What would it look like to admit fear of riding?
Working through my own fear is a life lesson I have to learn myself. Why not share that process in real time? While I am working through my issues and learning lessons, I’ll open up and let the world see me. My son, Dean, who is a TV anchorman, visited us a couple of weeks ago. We had discussed us doing some filming for my web site. I asked him to video me getting on a horse for the first time. We are now editing that video and it will be out soon.
My plan was to get on Hoss, my regular, dependable mount. I figured that would be easy. Then, I would work up to getting on Elvis, which would be scary, since he’s the one that bucked me off. It turns out, it was plenty scary getting on Hoss.
Because I was afraid, and wrapped up in my own fear, I could not see what was going on with Hoss. He was agitated, but I thought I it was because I was wound up. What my fear would not let me see was that Hoss’s bridle was mal-adjusted and it was bugging him. When I finally fixed the bridle, Hoss calmed down and I calmed down.
And I got on. And it was great.
The video showed me all the mistakes I made. How’s that for a lesson learned in real time: When you are afraid, you can’t see what is really happening around you. Fear clouds your judgment. Information that you need can be blocked by your own brain.
This is just one lesson I learned that I want to share with you.
The video won’t be out for a couple of weeks, but you can listen to my 15 minute on-line radio show any time at http://WhisperedByHorses.com.
Tonight, Tuesday, August 4 and 8:00 PM Eastern Time, I will have a live call-in show about my fears and how I am working through them. Please call in and talk to me. Details are at the Whispered By Horses link above.